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these fragments i love

You are here: Home / Archives for My Babies / Calvin Phoenix

A Birthday Gift from Charlie

March 5, 2016 Leave a Comment

Calvin's angel wings

"I love Calvin. He was my brother." This morning, we stopped by the art store after our chiro appointment, and Charlie picked out paper that he wanted to use "to wrap Calvin's present." It was green Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Charlie Bastian Tagged With: The 5th Belongs to Calvin

Happy 6th Birthday, Calvin Phoenix

March 5, 2015 1 Comment

Calvin's 6th birthday quilled cupcake

Six years ago today, my first son was stillborn. We named him Calvin Phoenix. I held his tiny body in my arms. And in those too brief moments, I was filled with such a tremendous amount of love and Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix Tagged With: 6th, fundraising, march for babies, march of dimes

For my Calvin Phoenix

March 5, 2015 Leave a Comment

Calvin's 6th birthday quilled cupcake

I miss you. I love you. I wish I had you and all of your siblings here with us. 2013. Happy 3rd birthday, darling boy. We love you more every day. Calvin Phoenix is our precious first Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Calvin's Cupcakes Tagged With: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 6th, birth date

Capture Your Grief – Day 14: Light and Dark

October 16, 2014 Leave a Comment

One Who Soars and In Mourning bands

The white "One Who Soars" and black "In Mourning" wristbands are from the MISS Foundation. The March of Dimes wristband (purple) is from the March for Babies. Capture Your Grief is an annual, Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Honor & Remember, Louie, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby Tagged With: in mourning, march of dimes, one who soars

Capture Your Grief – Day 13: Season

October 16, 2014 Leave a Comment

San Francisco hills and fog

Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel — I feel your absence more acutely when the sky is filled with white and the air smells cold and heavy. I miss you most in the moments before rain. Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 12: Music

October 15, 2014 Leave a Comment

"All of Me" is one of those songs that just overcomes me. It sums up how I feel about every one of my children — how I felt when I learned of Calvin's amniotic band syndrome and then held him Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Charlie Bastian, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Music & Songs, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 11: Altar

October 13, 2014 Leave a Comment

Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel's spaces in our home.

The spaces of our home are filled with the presence of all of our babies. Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection. It is for Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 9: In Memory

October 12, 2014 Leave a Comment

Calvin's Cupcakes: Made for Heavenly Babies

I started Calvin's Cupcakes in memory of my first son Calvin Phoenix. It has been such a humbling honor to abide with other families who have experienced child loss, to share part of their stories, Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Grief & Loss, Honor & Remember, Projects, Resources & Support Tagged With: baby remembrance

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