It started with pieces of me gone with my babies, pieces left behind by grief. I'm in fragments, but it's a beautiful mess, so I'm blessed to be broken.

October 15th

Three of my babies died. I miss them. I love them. I remember them — not that I’ve ever forgotten. It’s just that today, I am allowed to be a bereaved mother, to mourn, and to speak of the babies I carry in my heart. No one can tell me I need to move on, because today, on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I need to remember.

Really, this is my everyday. But especially today, I am honoring my Calvin, my Rainbow, and my Gaelen. I am remembering all babies who have died too soon, including those of relatives and friends. I am abiding by these families who must endure a lifetime of mousing.


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