Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Home > Calvin's Cupcakes Remembrance > Christine Marie Heilmann (03.27.2014)

Christine Marie Heilmann (03.27.2014)

Christine's remembrance cupcake

Christine's remembrance cupcake

I am so grateful that you gave your daddy and me time to spend with you. We love you so much sweetheart, and we are so so proud of you, our little fighter. We miss you dearly, but we are doing ok. Rest in paradise my little bear. We will meet you when the time comes.

I was rushed into a c-section at exactly 35 weeks because my baby’s heart rate was dropping. My umbilical cord had grown attached to the placenta wrong. It was like veins, and Christine had separated one of the smaller veins from the placenta from moving. I was bleeding internally and we both loss blood. Some of Christine’s organs were not responding because of shock from the blood loss. We both needed blood transfusions. Later her organs began working, all except her kidneys. They also said that she suffered from extreme brain damage, and may never wake up. Christine was put on dialysis.

Later she began responding more and more, to the point where she was awake. Breathing on her own, screaming her lungs out, eating on her own, and even pushing herself off of her stomach. The doctors could not explain why she was so responsive, as they say her brain damage was severe. Christine’s kidneys became responsive, however, the doctors said it was not enough to keep her alive. They said a transplant was not an option because of her brain damage.

Even though I did not agree, they were not willing to help anymore. She was taken off of dialysis. And she fought hard for three weeks, the last two having been spent at home. She grew weaker and weaker. It was horrible to watch, but she was not letting go. She did not want to stop fighting. I told her it was ok to let go. Her mommy would be fine, it was her time to rest. She had fought from the day of her birth until the very end. It was time she was at peace. Free from any pain, and doctors.

—Chrissy’s mommy, Kiantae

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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