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these fragments i love

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A Birthday Gift from Charlie

March 5, 2016 Leave a Comment

Calvin's angel wings

"I love Calvin. He was my brother." This morning, we stopped by the art store after our chiro appointment, and Charlie picked out paper that he wanted to use "to wrap Calvin's present." It was green Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Charlie Bastian Tagged With: The 5th Belongs to Calvin

“When will you have another one?”

November 28, 2015 Leave a Comment

Still of sky lantern scene from "Tangled"

It's been two years. Two years since I was last pregnant. Two years since my last pregnancy ended. Two years since: The timing isn't right. Two years since: There's a baby in momma's tummy. Two years Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Grief & Loss, Pixel Clementine, TTC & Infertility

One Photo of Yourself

August 30, 2015 Leave a Comment

Louie, Charlie, and Crystal at Charlie's 3rd birthday party.

(Day 10 of the 10-Day "You" Project) Louie, Charlie, and I at Charlie's Christmas-themed 3rd birthday party in June. Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel aren't far — they're represented in Continue Reading »

Filed Under: 10-Day "You" Challenge, Charlie Bastian, Life, Louie

Two Songs

August 29, 2015 Leave a Comment

"But just because they can't feel it, too, doesn't mean that you have to forget" (from "The Call")

(Day 9 of the 10-Day "You" Project) "The Call" by Regina Spector "I Will Carry You" by Selah Continue Reading »

Filed Under: 10-Day "You" Challenge, Honor & Remember, Life, Music & Songs, My Babies

Nine Loves

August 18, 2015 Leave a Comment

Charlie holding pendants for Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel

(Day 2 of the 10-Day "You" Project) My husband, Louie My children: Calvin Phoenix Rainbow Baby Gaelen Evangeline Charlie Bastian Pixel Clementine My creator and Continue Reading »

Filed Under: 10-Day "You" Challenge, Family, Life, Louie, My Babies Tagged With: crafts, loves

For my Gaelen Evangeline

March 24, 2015 Leave a Comment

Gaelen Evangeline's 4th remembrance cupcake

2015. 4 years feels so far away. I miss you, my not-so-baby girl. Charlie sent you some birthday kisses today. We love you. 2012. Happy Heaven Day, my sweet Gaelen. Mommy and daddy miss Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin's Cupcakes, Gaelen Evangeline Tagged With: 1st, 4th

Happy 6th Birthday, Calvin Phoenix

March 5, 2015 1 Comment

Calvin's 6th birthday quilled cupcake

Six years ago today, my first son was stillborn. We named him Calvin Phoenix. I held his tiny body in my arms. And in those too brief moments, I was filled with such a tremendous amount of love and Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix Tagged With: 6th, fundraising, march for babies, march of dimes

For my Calvin Phoenix

March 5, 2015 Leave a Comment

Calvin's 6th birthday quilled cupcake

I miss you. I love you. I wish I had you and all of your siblings here with us. 2013. Happy 3rd birthday, darling boy. We love you more every day. Calvin Phoenix is our precious first Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Calvin's Cupcakes Tagged With: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 6th, birth date

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