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these fragments i love

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For my Rainbow Baby

December 10, 2014 Leave a Comment

Rainbow's Remembrance Cupcake

2014. I love you, sweet girl. Always, always. 2010. Rainbow is our second child and Calvin's baby sister. She was our spark, our hope. Though she was only with us for a few weeks before Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin's Cupcakes, Rainbow Baby Tagged With: 1st, 5th, anniversary

For my Pixel Clementine

November 27, 2014 Leave a Comment

Pixel Clementine's 1st heavenly birthday remembrance cupcake

2014. I love you, baby girl. I miss you everyday. Pixel Clementine is our fifth child and fourth in heaven. We lost her early in pregnancy after a missed miscarriage and MUA on November 27, 2013. We Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin's Cupcakes, Pixel Clementine Tagged With: 1st, anniversary

I breastfeed my toddler because I want to

November 2, 2014 Leave a Comment

I breastfeed my toddler because he wants to, because I want to, and because I can.

Charlie wanted to nurse while we were waiting for our food at Beach Chalet with my in-laws today. He was tired and hungry. I told him that the food was coming soon, but he insisted, I want to nurse, Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Charlie Bastian, Parenting Tagged With: extended breastfeeding, normalize breastfeeding, nursing in public

Capture Your Grief – Day 14: Light and Dark

October 16, 2014 Leave a Comment

One Who Soars and In Mourning bands

The white "One Who Soars" and black "In Mourning" wristbands are from the MISS Foundation. The March of Dimes wristband (purple) is from the March for Babies. Capture Your Grief is an annual, Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Honor & Remember, Louie, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby Tagged With: in mourning, march of dimes, one who soars

Capture Your Grief – Day 13: Season

October 16, 2014 Leave a Comment

San Francisco hills and fog

Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel — I feel your absence more acutely when the sky is filled with white and the air smells cold and heavy. I miss you most in the moments before rain. Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 12: Music

October 15, 2014 Leave a Comment

"All of Me" is one of those songs that just overcomes me. It sums up how I feel about every one of my children — how I felt when I learned of Calvin's amniotic band syndrome and then held him Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Charlie Bastian, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Music & Songs, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 11: Altar

October 13, 2014 Leave a Comment

Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel's spaces in our home.

The spaces of our home are filled with the presence of all of our babies. Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection. It is for Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Pixel Clementine, Projects, Rainbow Baby

Capture Your Grief – Day 9: In Memory

October 12, 2014 Leave a Comment

Calvin's Cupcakes: Made for Heavenly Babies

I started Calvin's Cupcakes in memory of my first son Calvin Phoenix. It has been such a humbling honor to abide with other families who have experienced child loss, to share part of their stories, Continue Reading »

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Capture Your Grief 2014, Grief & Loss, Honor & Remember, Projects, Resources & Support Tagged With: baby remembrance

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