Category Archives: My Babies

I am shaped by my grief

Goodnight without me

On May 26, 2013, Posted by , In Charlie Bastian,Random, With No Comments

Louie messaged me this drawing of him, Charlie, and me via the #coupleapp while I was working late one night. Isn't he sweet :/?

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: International Bereaved Mothers Day – I choose to live and to honor you

This month, the 5th is special for several reasons: this is Calvin’s 50th month in heaven (that actually makes me want to cry, knowing how long it’s been since I’ve held him), it is International Bereaved Mothers Day, and it is the 1 year anniversary of Still Standing Magazine and…

15 days and 308 days

Sometimes it feels like his baby days are just slipping through my fingers. I decided to try wear him in the Moby again today and thoroughly enjoyed that he let me ♥.

Happy 10 Months, Charlie Bee

On April 12, 2013, Posted by , In Charlie Bastian,Photography, By , , With No Comments

(Photo via Instagram) 10 months since he was born, since we first looked into his big, dark eyes and heard the sweetest, high-pitched cry, and I still can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe I was blessed to have this earth baby to hold in my arms.

Late Night Mommyhood

On April 11, 2013, Posted by , In Charlie Bastian,Life,Parenting,Photography, With No Comments

(Photo via Instagram) Charlie’s food is prepared and labelled in the fridge. The dishwasher is running, and clean baby dishes are on the drying rack. Multiple drinking vessel options have been set out—hopefully one works! And my pumping bottles ready to go in the cooler. I’m nursing Charlie, and it’s…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: It doesn’t mean you are forgotten

“I was too broken to appreciate the intimate relationships others hold with my babies. Now I realize that those relationships are sacred, that my babies don’t belong just to me. And that means something wonderful: they aren’t forgotten. “

Happy 2 Years in Heaven, My Gaelen

(photo posted via Instagram) Today marks two years since we had to say goodbye-til-heaven to Gaelen Evangeline, our third baby. She’s been sending us heartwinks ever since. Happy heaven day, sweet baby girl. We miss you everyday. We love you so much, so much, Gaelen.