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Category Archives: Calvin Phoenix

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The NT Scan

Dear Calvin, On Thursday, I had the NT scan with Bumble Bee. It was at the same place where I had my first ultrasounds with you, where I first saw and heard your heartbeat, where they told me they found amniotic bands during your NT ultrasound, and where the doctor…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Always, You Matter

Dear Calvin, I had my first prenatal appointment with Bumble Bee on Wednesday. The nurse-midwife asked about my previous pregnancies, and when she heard me call you “he,” she asked what your name was. I told her, “Calvin,” as I cried. Then I thanked her for asking your name. She…

Remembering the Little Ones we Miss

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, Calvin’s Cupcakes is offering this free PAIL Cupcake for you to use for your baby/babies. Just click on the image to go to Calvin’s Cupcakes, where you can get the the high resolution version. In addition to my Calvin, Rainbow, and…

Three flowers

I attended a “Walk to Remember” remembrance walk and ceremony in Clearwater with some of my BabyCenter GBJ girls, their husbands, and their rainbow babies. Part of it included putting flowers on and around a memorial tree, planted in the park for babies who have died and their families. The…

Between death and eternity

On October 6, 2011, Posted by , In Calvin Phoenix,Life, By ,, , With No Comments

Our current home is between the hospital where I found out Calvin was no longer alive and delivered his still body from mine and the columbarium where his ashes will be inurned in a niche that is for him and his sisters and, eventually, us. In several ways, we’re very…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: A Visit to Florida

On October 5, 2011, Posted by , In Calvin Phoenix,Honor & Remember,Life, By ,,, , With No Comments

One of the most surprising thing that happened after losing Calvin (and each of my babies) was finding friendships in unexpected places. I was amazed and uplifted by receiving compassion, encouragement, and just plain love from people who ranged from former acquaintances to complete strangers. The BabyCenter Community was where…

Patterns I shouldn’t dwell on

It was a Sunday. The Sunday after Ash Wednesday. Louie and I were attending Mass at St. Basil’s Church. We wanted to light a candle by the Sacred Heart of Jesus. There were no more candles. Louie stopped one of the deacons and asked him to pray for us and…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Dandiewinks Prelaunch

I’ve been interested in many-things artsy, crafty, and designy for almost as long as I can remember. From making flyers, programs, and invitations for family, my youth group, and department events in college; to freelance web and print projects; to the pendants, blocks, and paintings I create. After I had…