dandiewinks

Category Archives: Louie

I love…

On April 25, 2010, Posted by , In Life,Louie, With No Comments

My LifewithLouie

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The Space Between Us

The Calvin Phoenix Photo Project Photo of the Month: CalvinE and Crystal Hill

A Bunny for My Baby

On October 23, 2009, Posted by , In Calvin Phoenix,Louie, By , With No Comments

I decided to get off the bus early on Wednesday and just wander down Clement Street because I knew Louie wouldn’t be home until after 10pm because of his class. I walked into Genki, and as we usually do when we walk around that store, I looked for something for…

Dreams and Fears

I’ve had two dreams about giving birth to a dead baby. I’m in the hospital, and I know it’s a different place and time. I remember pushing and laboring, then passing out. I have flashes of them wrapping the baby up in a yellow receiving blanket. Louie is with me…

To the Father of My Missing Child

I know I can’t make you whole again But I’m here. I’m here to catch your tears in the palms of my hand, to try to make the landing a little less rough when you fall, because I’m falling, too. So I’ll go down with you, and, when we are…

Though I Am Broken, He Lifts Me Up

Yes, I do have faith in God, and I truly believe He has a greater purpose for calling Calvin Phoenix. After I delivered Calvin, I decided that I would lay my son at His feet, that my first child, my son would be my Lenten sacrifice and that I would…

Easter Without Calvin

While I was pregnant with Calvin, I looked forward to all of the holidays I would get to spend with him in my belly – his first of almost every major holiday with me and Louie. I found out I was pregnant on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and I was…

A Place for Calvin’s Ashes

On March 31, 2009, Posted by , In Calvin Phoenix,Louie,Miscarriage, By , , With No Comments

The hardest part about looking for an urn for my baby was having to acknowledge my baby’s death. Each picture I looked at, every description of dimension and size – it was like being told over and over again the baby has passed away. Louie’s words, We’re doing this for…