Category Archives: Rainbow Baby

Carrying my babies

…all five in my heart, one in my arms.

Happy Holidays from our Family to Yours

October 15th

Three of my babies died. I miss them. I love them. I remember them — not that I’ve ever forgotten. It’s just that today, I am allowed to be a bereaved mother, to mourn, and to speak of the babies I carry in my heart. No one can tell me…

Father’s Day with a Living Son

I didn't know how much more I could fall in love until I witnessed the way he loves each of our children. Today is NOT his second Father’s Day, but it is his second time spending this holiday with his baby in his arms. For the first without worry whether…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: International Bereaved Mothers Day – I choose to live and to honor you

This month, the 5th is special for several reasons: this is Calvin’s 50th month in heaven (that actually makes me want to cry, knowing how long it’s been since I’ve held him), it is International Bereaved Mothers Day, and it is the 1 year anniversary of Still Standing Magazine and…

Grandkids on His Handlebars

My dad asked Louie to paint his handlebars with the names of his grandchildren. So Louie painted *all* of their names: Divinity, Jayden, Sky, Jayme, Calvin, Rainbow, Kimora, Jayde, Gaelen, Kihana, Charlie, and Pixel. I added the quote, “Great fathers get promoted to grandfathers” on the left side.

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The latest I’ve ever been

I have been writing this post in my head for weeks. It’s been on my mind since before November 5th, yet here I am, almost at the end of the month and finally getting the words down and planning to finally click the “Publish” button. It’s not that I forgot….

Day 6: What Not to Say (Capture Your Grief)

They’re in a better place: as a parent, it’s hard to accept that there is a better place for my child than with me, and even though I know being with God is the best place, it won’t stop my longing. Anything that begins with At least is probably more…