Monday, October 26, 2020
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I am shaped by my grief


To those who say not to let my grief define me, I say, “Why not?” Our everyday experiences shape who we are. So why not the extraordinary ones that rip our hearts open? A heart that knows mourning is tender not only to its own aching but to that of others. I think that’s a good thing.

Today marks 4 years and 3 months since Calvin’s birthday. Yes, I’m still counting. Yes, I’m still grieving. And, yes, I’m still standing, but a better person by having carried him.

Happy 51 months in heaven, Calvin. Because of you and your sisters, my broken heart has more to give.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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