Monday, October 26, 2020
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Day 10 of Project Pee-a-thon: Where do I go from here?

cd27 / 12dpo / 92411

As I mostly officially announced yesterday, I am pregnant. I know that I have some readers who are still trying, and my heart really aches for you. I know feeling “left behind,” and even now, even after learning that we are blessed with another pregnancy, I still feel pangs of jealousy at hearing another BFP announcement. I am grateful for this chance to bring a living child into this world, but I’m also sorry for the longing and aching this news must cause some dear friends. So I want to remain sensitive to that. There will be pregnancy talks and another photo below, so please feel free to click away if this is not something you can or want to read about right now. I understand.
Leaving some space to give you a chance to stop reading…

cd27 / 12dpo / 92411

Day 10 Rundown

Cycle Day: 27
Days Past Ovulation: 12
HPT Result: Slightly darker lines on the IC, semi-faint positive on Answer, and BFP on Accu-Clear
Symptoms: Stronger/sharp cramps, bits of nausea, headache-y and light sensitivity, tender breasts, lots of bloating
Emotions: At first excited and happy to see the positives on the non-ICs. I felt very supported by the congratulations and prayers and love that was being send our way (thank you!). Then we started hearing concerns over what I should and should not be doing and stress and fear starting to settle in. I guess I’m pretty fragile (still).
Notes: Related to the stress and fears, I’ve been trying to do guided imagery or affirmations to try to have more confidence and reduce stress since I got the positive result. When I first decided to do this project, I wasn’t sure that I was actually going to get pregnant, and didn’t really think about how to handle the final negative. Then when I got the positive, I was afraid to share it. Then I decided that I wanted people to share in this joy and that we could use the support and prayers. I didn’t think about the amount of well-meaning, but more-stress-inducing advice that would start pouring in because my last two babies didn’t stick and my first one died. I’m trying to focus on loving our little Bumble Bee and trusting in God’s will for our family, but of course, I also want this baby to live and come home with us.

I’m going to be working with Elisabeth Manning, a spiritual coach who specializes in “fertile living,” which will hopefully help me find my center. Monday is my second set of bloodwork, and I’m praying that my hcg goes from 34 on Wednesday to 140 and that my progesterone pushes up into the 20s from 19-point-something. Prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes, energy, and light are always welcome.

TTC is hard.

If you don’t know what this is all about, please check out this post: On Your Mark. Get Set. Pee.

A little info about this cycle: This month marks 3 years since we decided (that word makes me laugh sometimes) to have children. It is 6 months since losing Gaelen, 20 months since losing Rainbow, and 30 months since losing Calvin.

This month’s “protocol”: I am temp’ing and charting at Fertility Friend. I took Letrozole (generic Femara) from cycle days 2-6. I used the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. I am receiving acupuncture once a week and have been seeing my chiropractor (where I also receive N.E.T. get an awesome 10-minute chair massage from an extern) every two weeks.

To see my results from previous days, please see:

Please feel free to save and use the TTC badge, especially if you know the difficulties in TTC. You can copy it to your computer or grab the following code to add it to your sidebar or maybe in blog posts about TTC: <img src="" width="200" height="204" alt="TTC is hard." />

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “Day 10 of Project Pee-a-thon: Where do I go from here?

  1. Love you guys. Praying & praying. Just take care of yourselves — you, Louie & baby, and do what YOU need to do. Even if that means ignoring what friends & family (us included) try to tell you. We may mean well but you guys know what & how much will help you on this journey <3

  2. I’ll admit it may hurt a little, but I am happy for you as well. If it happened to me I’d want to talk about it too.A big majority of my bloggy mums are getting pregnant recently, it also gives me hope that its not immpossible. I have really benefited from your info on TTC and I will love to hear about your pregancy. 🙂

    1. I definitely understand–I think of it as “happy for you, sad for me,” so I respect how it must sting. I’m glad that the TTC info is helping. Feel free to keep asking questions!

  3. Don’t listen to those putting fears into your heart, enjoy every day only thinking of today and tomorrow will take care of itself. You are pregnant and you WILL hold your baby in 9 months.
    Sending you love and sticky baby dust.

  4. I will be praying for a wonderful outcome. Years ago, the announcements bothered me but I was then blessed with rainbows. I’m here for the long haul!

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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