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Pixel Clementine's 1st heavenly birthday remembrance cupcake

For my Pixel Clementine

I love you, baby girl. I miss you everyday. Pixel Clementine is our fifth child and fourth in heaven. We lost her early in pregnancy after a missed miscarriage and MUA on November 27, 2013. We learned that she had Turner's Syndrome and Trisomy 18. She plays in the clouds with her

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One Who Soars and In Mourning bands

Capture Your Grief – Day 14: Light and Dark

The white "One Who Soars" and black "In Mourning" wristbands are from the MISS Foundation. The March of Dimes wristband (purple) is from the March for Babies. Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection. It is for “anyone who is grieving the death

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San Francisco hills and fog

Capture Your Grief – Day 13: Season

Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel — I feel your absence more acutely when the sky is filled with white and the air smells cold and heavy. I miss you most in the moments before rain. Love, Mommy Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection.

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I carry Calvin, Rainbow, Gaelen, and Pixel in my heart

Capture Your Grief – Day 2: Heart

Because I cannot hold them in my arms, I carry them in my heart: Calvin Phoenix (03.05.2009) Rainbow (12.10.2009) Gaelen Evangeline (03.24.2011) Pixel Clementine (11.27.2013) Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection. It is for "anyone who is grieving the death of a baby or child at any

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Sunrise and St. Ignatius Church

Capture Your Grief – Day 1: Sunrise

6:56am, San Francisco, CA at sunrise grey overwhelms blue the light fades into mourning wet fog surrounds me I wrote my first version of this poem, "each morning," about two months after Calvin (my first baby) died. In those raw days of grieving, waking up to the reality that my baby had died was one

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