October 15th

Three of my babies died. I miss them. I love them. I remember them — not that I’ve ever forgotten. It’s just that today, I am allowed to be a bereaved mother, to mourn, and to speak of the babies I carry in my heart. No one can tell me…

I look forward to this every month.

On July 6, 2013, Posted by , In Calvin Phoenix,Family,Photography, By , With No Comments

I am shaped by my grief

Happy 2 Years in Heaven, My Gaelen

(photo posted via Instagram) Today marks two years since we had to say goodbye-til-heaven to Gaelen Evangeline, our third baby. She’s been sending us heartwinks ever since. Happy heaven day, sweet baby girl. We miss you everyday. We love you so much, so much, Gaelen.

Happy 4th birthday to my first born.

I’ll see you in heaven, my Calvin. Mommy loves you. (Posted via Instagram)

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: 47 months

Happy 5th my Calvin… I can’t believe next month will be 4 years. I miss you everyday. (Posted via Instagram)

Charlie with his Great Grandma

On January 20, 2013, Posted by , In Charlie Bastian,Family,Photography, By , , With No Comments

Every time someone came up to Charlie while she was holding him, Nanay would say, “He doesn’t like you” (hindi ka niya gusto). I wish they could have had more time together in this world. (Posted via Instagram)

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: My two boys

I “stole” this image from the hubby to post because seeing Charlie hold big brother Calvin’s urn makes my heart ache and swell at the same time. Happy 5th Calvin. (Posted via Instagram)