Friday, October 23, 2020
Home > My Babies > Calvin Phoenix > Capture Your Grief – Day 1: Sunrise

Capture Your Grief – Day 1: Sunrise

Sunrise and St. Ignatius Church

6:56am, San Francisco, CA
Sunrise and St. Ignatius Church

at sunrise

grey overwhelms blue
the light fades into mourning
wet fog surrounds me

I wrote my first version of this poem, “each morning,” about two months after Calvin (my first baby) died. In those raw days of grieving, waking up to the reality that my baby had died was one of the most difficult parts of my everyday. The transition from sleep to conscientious was like the transition to before and after the knowledge of death; it was like being told again and again “I’m sorry but…” For a long time, my days began and ended with tears.

Capture Your Grief is an annual, 31-day mindful healing project that consists of photography and reflection. It is for “anyone who is grieving the death of a baby or child at any age or gestation.” Learn how you can participate or provide support at Carly Marie Project Heal.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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