Today is not my first Mothers Day… I became a mother four years ago, on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, when I saw two lines that changed me forever. When I delivered my first baby, stillborn at 18 weeks, then held his small body in my arms, I was still his mother. When I left the hospital with a memory box instead of my first child, when I bought him an urn, then weeks later picked up his ashes to bring home, I was still his mother.
On my first Mother’s day, I had one baby in heaven: Calvin.
On my second Mother’s Day, I had two babies in heaven: Calvin and Rainbow.
On my third Mother’s Day, I had three babies in heaven: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen.
Today is my fourth Mothers Day, and today I am blessed to be able to say that I have four children: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen in heaven, and Charlie who is living in my womb.
Today isn’t my first Mother’s Day, but for the first time, I can spend it not only remembering the babies I was honored to carry for their short lives, but also looking forward to raising their baby brother on this earth. For that I am grateful.