Sunday, June 16, 2019
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A different kind of Mothers Day for me

Today is not my first Mothers Day… I became a mother four years ago, on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, when I saw two lines that changed me forever. When I delivered my first baby, stillborn at 18 weeks, then held his small body in my arms, I was still his mother. When I left the hospital with a memory box instead of my first child, when I bought him an urn, then weeks later picked up his ashes to bring home, I was still his mother.

On my first Mother’s day, I had one baby in heaven: Calvin.

On my second Mother’s Day, I had two babies in heaven: Calvin and Rainbow.

On my third Mother’s Day, I had three babies in heaven: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen.

Today is my fourth Mothers Day, and today I am blessed to be able to say that I have four children: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen in heaven, and Charlie who is living in my womb.

Today isn’t my first Mother’s Day, but for the first time, I can spend it not only remembering the babies I was honored to carry for their short lives, but also looking forward to raising their baby brother on this earth. For that I am grateful.

crystal
Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “A different kind of Mothers Day for me

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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A different kind of Mothers Day for me

Today is not my first Mothers Day… I became a mother four years ago, on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, when I saw two lines that changed me forever. When I delivered my first baby, stillborn at 18 weeks, then held his small body in my arms, I was still his mother. When I left the hospital with a memory box instead of my first child, when I bought him an urn, then weeks later picked up his ashes to bring home, I was still his mother.

On my first Mother’s day, I had one baby in heaven: Calvin.

On my second Mother’s Day, I had two babies in heaven: Calvin and Rainbow.

On my third Mother’s Day, I had three babies in heaven: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen.

Today is my fourth Mothers Day, and today I am blessed to be able to say that I have four children: Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen in heaven, and Charlie who is living in my womb.

Today isn’t my first Mother’s Day, but for the first time, I can spend it not only remembering the babies I was honored to carry for their short lives, but also looking forward to raising their baby brother on this earth. For that I am grateful.

crystal
Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “A different kind of Mothers Day for me

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

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