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You are here: Home / My Babies / Calvin Phoenix / “Because Grief is As Real as Love”

“Because Grief is As Real as Love”

August 2, 2011 Leave a Comment

One Who Soars and In Mourning Bracelets

The title of this piece is from the In Mourning Band™ Campaign. Louie and I wear these bands for our babies.

Because grief is as real as love, I mourn.
I mourn my babies
by saying the same things over and over,
by finding different ways to say these things again and again:

I hear them with each step I take—
I love them in the rising.
I miss them in the falling.
I want them in the touching down.

I feel them in my breath—
I love them at the inhale.
I miss them at the pause.
I want them at the exhale.

This is nothing new. My blood flows to this cadence:
I love them. break. I miss them. break. I want them. break.

I wear my grief–
I carry it around my neck and above my heart.

It adorns my eyes, my lips,
—It wears on me with each micro-nano-milli-moment that passes without them.

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Family, Gaelen Evangeline, Grief & Loss, Honor & Remember, Life, Louie, Poetry, Rainbow Baby Tagged With: mourning

Comments

  1. Holly says:
    August 28, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    I love that you wear those bracelets

    Reply
    • Crystal Theresa says:
      September 2, 2011 at 4:28 pm

      🙂

      Reply
  2. Crystal Theresa says:
    August 19, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    thank you all ♥

    Reply
  3. Eve1 says:
    August 5, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing and in turn I will share it with others.

    Reply
  4. michelle says:
    August 3, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    very beautiful poem and so true

    Reply
  5. Kristin Arcilla says:
    August 2, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    beautiful….so real.

    Reply
  6. Sarita Boyette says:
    August 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    It is a lovely piece. I understand – our babies are a total part of us. xoxo

    Reply
  7. Louie Ejanda says:
    August 2, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    i’m hard pressed to say it because i enjoy so much of your writing. but this entry is the best one yet. makes me breathless.

    Reply

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