- i miss the back pain and how difficult it was to get up
- i miss the waddling
- i miss the growth in my belly
- i miss feeling beautiful because of him
- i miss feeling his movements and the first and only time his daddy felt him move
- i miss going in for ultrasounds to check on him – even if i had 5 intravaginal ultrasounds
- i miss the way orange juice and coffee made me throw up
- i miss craving bacon
- i miss having to say no to coffee, caffeine, and processed foods
- i miss being extra careful with washing fruits & vegetables
- i miss seeing the stretch marks rise up on my hips and sides
- i miss my goddaughter and nephew kissing my belly
- i miss holding my baby niece up to my belly and asking her to give the baby advice
- i miss asking my nephew where my baby is and having him point to my belly
- i miss my coworkers asking how the baby is
- i miss my desk being on the third floor because that’s where the bathroom was – i miss having to fight for that
- i miss my Louie kissing my belly
- i miss Louie doing the sign of the cross on me, then on my belly every morning before i left for work
- i miss the voice Louie would use as he imagined our baby talking to us
- i miss knowing that my baby was in my left uterus
- i miss having to sleep on my side and not being able to lie on my belly
- i miss the milk i produced after i lost him because it meant we were still physically connected
- i miss not having my period
- i miss going to babycenter each week with my husband and checking on our baby’s development
- i miss tweeting about the baby’s size in fruit/vegetable
- i miss people arguing about whether the baby was a boy or a girl
- i miss the anticipation of telling everyone our baby’s name once we found out if the baby was a boy or a girl (i knew he was a boy because my grandma came to me in a dream, touched my belly, and told me so)
- i miss being thankful for each week of my pregnancy
- i miss having to prepare to move in with Louie’s parents
- i miss talking to my baby and singing “You Are My Sunshine” and “Too Good to Be True” to him
- i miss being in the hospital where I delivered him
- i miss holding him and looking at his face
- i miss looking forward to all the holidays with him
- i miss the excitement of my family and friends
- i miss the sense of purpose i felt
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these fragments i love
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