Thursday, July 9, 2020
Home > Grief & Loss > Capture Your Grief 2012 > Day 7: What to Say (Capture Your Grief)

Day 7: What to Say (Capture Your Grief)


Please just say…

  • I don’t know what to say: It’s honest. It shows you know the significance of what happened and that there really are no adequate words.
  • I am sorry: Simple and sincere goes a long way.
  • You’re in my thoughts/prayers: Knowing we are held in your thoughts and lifted up in your prayers means a lot.
  • I love you: A reminder that you care makes grief less lonely.
  • ((hug)): Loving touch is incredibly healing and can convey much more than platitudes.
  • Tell me about your babies: Speaking of my babies is one of the few ways I can still connect with them. Just as other moms like to talk about their living children, so it is with my babies in heaven.
  • I may not understand, but I’m here: You can’t know this pain unless you’ve gone through it, and even then each loss is different. Just knowing you will bear witness to this journey is enough.
  • I love/miss them, too and I’ll remember: One of my fears is that my babies will be forgotten. Please let me know that you care for them. Please tell me when you think of them.
  • You are a mother: One of the most comforting things is validation of the parent-child relationship. Death does not change the fact that I carried their little lives in my womb.
  • *tears*: It’s okay to cry with me. I know how badly it hurts.
  • CALVIN, RAINBOW, GAELEN: Please, please mention my children by name. Let me know they aren’t forgotten. Acknowledge them as my babies. This is the best way you can show me support and offer comfort.
Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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