Please just say…
I don’t know what to say: It’s honest. It shows you know the significance of what happened and that there really are no adequate words.
I am sorry: Simple and sincere goes a long way.
You’re in my thoughts/prayers: Knowing we are held in your thoughts and lifted up in your prayers means a lot.
I love you: A reminder that you care makes grief less lonely.
((hug)): Loving touch is incredibly healing and can convey much more than platitudes.
Tell me about your babies: Speaking of my babies is one of the few ways I can still connect with them. Just as other moms like to talk about their living children, so it is with my babies in heaven.
I may not understand, but I’m here: You can’t know this pain unless you’ve gone through it, and even then each loss is different. Just knowing you will bear witness to this journey is enough.
I love/miss them, too and I’ll remember: One of my fears is that my babies will be forgotten. Please let me know that you care for them. Please tell me when you think of them.
You are a mother: One of the most comforting things is validation of the parent-child relationship. Death does not change the fact that I carried their little lives in my womb.
*tears*: It’s okay to cry with me. I know how badly it hurts.
CALVIN, RAINBOW, GAELEN: Please, please mention my children by name. Let me know they aren’t forgotten. Acknowledge them as my babies. This is the best way you can show me support and offer comfort.