Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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A letter to November, 2010

Dear November,

A flower reaching through the fences

You broke my heart this year.

As each month became more of a struggle, I countered the feelings of defeat by waiting on you, counting on the promise of seasonal fertility, and remembering Thanksgiving week of the past two years. But, this time, November, you bring me one month closer to infertility.

But as much as this has broken me down, as difficult as it was for me to utter “Happy
Thanksgiving,” as ungrateful and bitter and forsaken as I felt on the day that twice held the secret joy of knowing the spark of life had begun in my womb…

I cannot forget this:You gave me Calvin in 2008. You gave Rainbow in 2009.
Thank you for my babies – they are my everything, even when I feel like nothing.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “A letter to November, 2010

  1. I’m so, so sorry that November was so hard for you. I’m so sorry that you have to feel this pain. I’m so sorry you are struggling.

    And I’m so thankful for your babies for you, too.


  2. Crystal – I’m so sorry your heart has been broken – I pray someday you will be blessed with a take home baby. (((HUGS)))

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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