Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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A Place for Calvin’s Ashes

The hardest part about looking for an urn for my baby was having to acknowledge my baby’s death. Each picture I looked at, every description of dimension and size – it was like being told over and over again the baby has passed away.

Baby Bear Urn

Louie’s words, We’re doing this for Calvin. We’re doing this for our baby, are what gave me strength to stand in the funeral home in a room of urns and caskets, to spend hours on the Internet looking at hundreds of urns and reading hundreds of descriptions. Choosing to deliver our baby, choosing to have him cremated, choosing an urn for his ashes – these are all born out of the same love and respect we have for our child, and that is greater than the loss I felt (and continue to feel).

We decided on this blue Baby Bear Urn from “In the Light Urns.” I like that it’s small and that it has a teddy bear on it, and I also like the light blue and white colors. It feels right for my baby.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

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"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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