Monday, October 26, 2020
Home > My Babies > Calvin Phoenix > The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Calvin’s cloud drawings

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Calvin’s cloud drawings

In my last post, The artist and the writer, which was also my last The 5th Belongs to Calvin post, I shared two photos that my mother-in-law took of the clouds. What she saw was Calvin’s name. Yes, his name: C-A-L-V-I-N. At first, I was very skeptical. I really couldn’t understand how letters can appear in the clouds, but here they are, along with some other pictures my very talented little boy put up there.

Here are the things I outlined in this photo, in the order they appear in the video file:

Dragon and Phoenix Patchdragon: I think this is for his godfather, Miquan, who sports a dragon and phoenix patch on his motorcycle jacket. He gave Louie and me patches, as well; that’s me holding it. Miquan’s actually gotten into few motorcycle accidents, and has thankfully survived both of them. We like to think that Calvin is looking out for his Ninong.

fancy butterflies: I was trying to figure out what this was and just kept tracing, until these butterflies came out. Butterflies have come to mean a lot to me, as they do to other baby loss mommas, because butterflies symbolize transformation and new life. These butterflies are particularly interested because it’s almost as if they share a wing, like they were twins?

a sultry lady: I saw this elongated figured and really did not know what it was – I just knew that it had to be something because of its prominence and shape. I zoomed and started tracing, and my eyes widened as I saw this very… um… sultry lady. Then I remembered the Jessica Rabbit drawing Louie did. Louie denies having any influence, but I think it’s obvious, and I think Calvin knew I would raise my eyebrows at the drawing, because he threw in some more butterflies for me.

big fluffy butterflies: I love how fluffy these butterflies are – it feels like I could just squish them and hug them. {sigh}

“the Calvin”: I don’t know why his name is preceded by the word the, I really don’t. Maybe it was his way of saying It’s really me!. All I can say is these letters are pretty clear, though the “N” had started floating away by the time my mother-in-law was able to grab her camera. I am just so amazed and feel so blessed that she was able to capture this.

footprints: One of the things I wish I was more adamant about at the hospital was when the nurse said that Calvin was too small for them to ink his footprints. I felt so weak and resigned at that point that I just said, okay. I wish I said, Can you try anyway? Or, even better, Can I try? I would have so loved to see my son’s hands and feet. I think Calvin put these footprints in the sky, right under his name, to say, Here, Momma, here’s my feet, see?

In case you were wondering, I was able to overlay the drawings on the picture by using Flash (thanks to my husband’s semi-patient tutelage). I took the photos into Photoshop and traced the images and letters. Then I used Flash to animate the different shapes onto the picture. I’ll post the second photo (which actually has some of Calvin’s friends in it!) on another. I’ve actually been wanting to try Flash, but it seemed so daunting – thank you, Calvie, for giving mommy the push to try it for today :).

My sweet Calvin Phoenix, you are so precious to me and your daddy. I can’t believe it’s been 18 months since I held you in my arms. Thank for always inspiring me to do better, to be better. I love you so much sweet boy. Happy 1 1/2 years in heaven. Give Rainbow kisses from mommy and daddy.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Calvin’s cloud drawings

  1. That’s amazing! I do see The Calvin plainly. Some of the things I can’t see well. Nothing seems to be outlined on my computer πŸ™

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