Sunday, September 22, 2019
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The 5th Belongs to Calvin: His only belly pics

The only person who’s ever seen these is Louie (he took them, too). These are my only belly pics from my pregnancy with Calvin, taken on January 19, 2009, just a few days before things started falling apart, and we never thought to take another one. We had talked of maternity photos, of waiting until I was further along and bigger before making an appointment with Eddie, but then our baby died.

Calvin's only belly photos

I wish I had more photos from my pregnancy. If I had known… but isn’t that how it is with everything? These three photos are so precious to me. They remind me that Calvin was here, that he lived and I carried him.

Calvin, I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since Daddy took those pictures of my belly with you inside. I love you. I miss you and Rainbow. Happy 20 months in heaven, sweet boy.

Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “The 5th Belongs to Calvin: His only belly pics

  1. It was indeed a beautiful experience for Louie as well to be able to take pictures of you and Baby as one, while physically together. We all have to go one way or another, as life here on earth is but borrowed. The only difference is how long do we stay on this earth. It will always be painful to remember what should have been but it will even be most comforting that MY GRANDCHILDREN CALVIN &BABY RAINBOW,ALONG WITH ALL YOUR CHILDREN ARE WITH GOD THIS CHRISTMAS FREE OF SINS AND THEREFORE HIS CERTIFIED ANGELS.

  2. Your bump pics are gorgeous!!
    I never thought to take any with my angel, then I got pregnant with Luke and I was scared to take any til around halfway just in case I jinxed myself.
    Calvin and Rainbow will always be loved and remembered!!

  3. Thank you, ladies, for your sweet comments. It helps to know that we will always want more – in an odd way, it’s comforting. I wish we had thousands of photos and mementos, but like Lisette said, I wish we all had our babies instead of having to scramble for memories.

  4. Your Calvin bump is beautiful.

    I have one photo of myself pregnant, and you probably wouldn’t even know but for my smile. I was 14 weeks and it was my parents 50th anniversary.

    Precious memories.

  5. If we only had known….
    There is so much I would have done. So much I would have made sure to keep and document. I struggled with my pregnancy after my loss because I wanted to document everything so that I’d always have it, but I was afraid to document anything because of the memories.
    Hugs, friend.

  6. What a cute baby bellly! I wish I had taken more belly pictures when I was pregnant with Jacob too. I thought I had more time. When I got pregnant with Cub, I took them every week, but was just barely showing when I lost Cub too.

    There is always something that we wish we had done differently.

    Thanks for sharing the pictures!

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

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