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You are here: Home / My Babies / Calvin Phoenix / The 5th Belongs to Calvin: You made me a mother

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: You made me a mother

January 5, 2012 Leave a Comment

Dear Calvin,

I am the furthest I have ever been in pregnancy, carrying your baby brother or sister. Today, I am 18 weeks and 3 days. I delivered you at 18 weeks and 1 day. Although you did not come out of my womb alive, although you were born two weeks shy of the commonly accepted definition of stillbirth, you were born, silent and loved and wanted. Out of my womb, I delivered you on a Thursday morning, with your daddy by my side and tears spilling from both of our eyes.

We are so grateful to have Bumble Bee growing inside me, but this new baby does not replace you, does not replace Rainbow, does not replace Gaelen. Each pregnancy is it’s own blessing, the creation of a new, separate, and individual soul for us to love and cherish. As I learned of each new life, my heart grew and created a unique space for my next child. And when we lost you and Rainbow and Gaelen, these spaces—your spaces—in my heart remained; they will only be filled when we are all together again.

We pray and hope that baby number four will be born alive and well. We look forward, with cautious optimism, to bringing Bumble Bee home and parenting him or her the way were unable to parent you and your sisters. I know people will look at us and assume Bumble is our first child, our only child, even those who know that I was pregnant three times before. This doesn’t change the fact that it was you, Calvin, who first made me a mother. I will always be grateful for that.

Happy 33 months in heaven, my precious son. I love you so much. I miss you.

Love and kisses to you and your sissies,
Mommy

Filed Under: Calvin Phoenix, Charlie Bastian, Gaelen Evangeline, Pregnancy, Rainbow Baby Tagged With: pregnancy after loss, remembering, The 5th Belongs to Calvin

Comments

  1. Lisa says:
    February 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    My Aunt told me the other day that she can see that look in my eye when strangers ask if Regan is my first child. Most days, I let it slide, and let people assume Regan is my first, simply because it is easier. But it was my Angel who made me a mother. And as time has passed, I realize that terrible things happen with a purpose. I wouldn’t have Regan if I had my Angel, and I can’t imagine my life without her. To the point where it makes my heart hurt to even think about it.

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers and they will continue until Charlie is home with you. He is one lucky baby boy to have such wonderful parents who love him so much already!

    Reply
  2. Lisa says:
    February 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    My Aunt told me the other day that she can see that look in my eye when strangers ask if Regan is my first child. Most days, I let it slide, and let people assume Regan is my first, simply because it is easier. But it was my Angel who made me a mother. And as time has passed, I realize that terrible things happen with a purpose. I wouldn’t have Regan if I had my Angel, and I can’t imagine my life without her. To the point where it makes my heart hurt to even think about it.

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers and they will continue until Charlie is home with you. He is one lucky baby boy to have such wonderful parents who love him so much already!

    Reply
  3. purple moose says:
    January 23, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    You have been on my mind, though i have just now checked to see how things are going. I am SOOO relieved that pregnancy is going well!! 🙂 Will continue to pray for healthy pregnancy and a precious, healthy bundle in your arms in a few months. I know your heart will break when people ask that question, “is this your first baby”. . . I pray for your comfort when it happens. <3

    Reply
  4. Kelly @ Sufficient Grace says:
    January 22, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Remembering sweet Calvin always…and rejoicing over each gift of life. Go Bumble Bee!!

    Reply
  5. Holly says:
    January 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    ♥Calvin♥

    Reply
  6. patty says:
    January 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    I know people will not know your angels in heaven. I felt the same way and it hurts to not be able to share with everyone of Joey and Juno. We see how much you love Calvin and you always will.

    Reply
  7. Natasha says:
    January 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Remembering your sweet Calvin with you <3 Hope you and the baby are doing well!!!

    Reply
  8. Nika M. says:
    January 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    I hope you and the baby are doing well.

    Reply
  9. RKizzle says:
    January 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I can’t believe before we know it, it will be March 5th again! Calvin, you are Kihana’s March Birthday buddy 🙂 Happy 33 months!

    Hope you are doing better Ate. Take care of yourself & BB!

    Reply

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