Monday, November 11, 2019
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Happy Birthday, Mama

Calvin visits Great Grandma

On Saturday, Louie and I went to visit my grandmother at the cemetery. It was her birthday. We brought Calvin. I thought about her rocking him in her arms and singing to him.

Calvin visits Great Grandma

I emptied and rinsed her vases and used a dishwashing brush and Clorox wipes to clean her headstone and remove the dirt and debris. Then I arranged the flowers I picked out for her: red roses (because, when I was in elementary school, she told me they were her favorite) and pink pom daisies and sunflowers because they reminded me of my wedding (I brought her flowers from our reception arrangements the day after we got married). Last, I pulled at some of the weeds and grass that were starting to reach over her headstone. It felt good to be able to do that for her (though I think it was really mostly for me); I wish I did more while she was still alive.

Visiting Mama at All Souls Cemetery

It’s been 7 1/2 years since she died, and I still miss her. I still cry for her. But I’m so happy (and so jealous) she gets to spend her birthday in heaven with three of her great grandbabies.

crystal
Crystal is a mother-wife-writer whose explorations include parenting, grief, food, and semi-crunchy living. She is currently an MFA in writing student, a content editor for Still Standing Magazine, and the technical editor for Switchback.

0 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Mama

  1. How nice you went and tended to her grave and took Calvin too! 🙂 I get a little jealous at times of those who get to be in Heaven w/ my babies.

  2. Hi Skinny! Thanks for doing all that. It still kills me inside & I’m still ridden with guilt that I wasn’t there for her… That I avoided her after she started chemo because *I* couldn’t handle seeing her like that. Now I regret all the extra time I could’ve spent with her. How selfish right? Thank you for all you do, Ate. Glad you guys were able to visit & take photographs 🙂

  3. I had a very special relationship with my grandmother too. She must be loving her three great grandbabies right now (:

  4. I love that you have a place to go to visit your grandmother. It’s nice she and her great grandbabies have each other. There is some comfort in that.

  5. That is so sweet the way you took care of your grandmother’s grave and brought Calvin to visit, too. Yes, she is so lucky to be with your babies. xoxo

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