6:56am, San Francisco, CA at sunrise grey overwhelms blue the light fades into mourning wet fog surrounds me I wrote my first version of this poem, "each morning," about two months after Continue Reading »
The Spaces of Missing
This is Louie holding our first baby, Calvin Phoenix, after he was stillborn in 2009. This is Louie holding our fourth and only living baby, Charlie Bastian, after his birth in 2012. It’s not often Continue Reading »
Carrying my babies
...all five in my heart, one in my arms. Continue Reading »
Happy Holidays from our Family to Yours
October 15th
Three of my babies died. I miss them. I love them. I remember them — not that I've ever forgotten. It's just that today, I am allowed to be a bereaved mother, to mourn, and to speak of the Continue Reading »
I look forward to this every month.
Father’s Day with a Living Son
I didn't know how much more I could fall in love until I witnessed the way he loves each of our children. Today is NOT his second Father's Day, but it is his second time spending this holiday Continue Reading »
I am shaped by my grief
To those who say not to let my grief define me, I say, "Why not?" Our everyday experiences shape who we are. So why not the extraordinary ones that rip our hearts open? A heart that knows mourning is Continue Reading »
