Dear Calvin, On Thursday, I had the NT scan with Bumble Bee. It was at the same place where I had my first ultrasounds with you, where I first saw and heard your heartbeat, where they told me they Continue Reading »
Illuminate: Color Your World lesson in Photographic Healing
Brown represents the things I long for, the things I'm working towards: comfort, endurance, stability, trust, simplicity, home. I want all of these because I want to show my heaven babies that I am Continue Reading »
Between death and eternity
Our current home is between the hospital where I found out Calvin was no longer alive and delivered his still body from mine and the columbarium where his ashes will be inurned in a niche that is for Continue Reading »
I Would Die for That by Kellie Coffey
Every time I watch this video, I am reduced to big, heavy tears. Tears of missing Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen, Of wanting them here—alive. Of wanting Calvin and Rainbow nestled on either side of me Continue Reading »
Q is for Questions (and no good answers)
I have been struggling to write this post for a while now. I've been writing it over and over in my notebook, then drawing big X's over the words, because I just couldn't get it to feel right. There Continue Reading »
New feature over at DBC
I have a new post at The Dead Baby Club about this month's featured blogger: a mommy who chose to carry her baby to term after a fatal diagnosis. Please stop by to learn about Myah and her daughter, Continue Reading »
Happy Fathers Day, Louie
And Happy Fathers Day to all the other daddies out there, too: to daddies with children in their arms, to daddies with children in their hearts, and to daddies who are deeply missed. Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin – Right Where I Am: 822 Days
822 days = 19,728 hours = 27 months = 1,183,680 minutes = 2.25 years = 71,020,800 seconds. That's how long I've been without my son. That's how long it's been since I delivered Calvin into this world Continue Reading »
