Please wrap my husband and in-laws in your prayers. Help us to lift Grandma up to Jesus. Help us to lay our sorrow at His feet while we grieve. I don't understand why we have lost so much in so short Continue Reading »
Dreams and Fears
I've had two dreams about giving birth to a dead baby. I'm in the hospital, and I know it's a different place and time. I remember pushing and laboring, then passing out. I have flashes of them Continue Reading »
I will keep you
for Calvin I will keep you in my heart and carry you there each day. And when I am in my deepest of grieving, my son, I will remember the morning I held you in my arms and saw you in your father's. Continue Reading »
Thank You for Bearing Witness
I want to thank those of you who responded to our cries yesterday, on what was supposed to be Calvin's due date. By bearing witness to our grief, you held us. With each message Louie and I felt lifted Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: A Joyful Pain
How mysterious are the ways of the Lord, that the most painful day of our lives was followed by the most fulfilling. March 4, 2009: This was by far the worst day of our lives, when we learned of Continue Reading »
I’m Not the Only One Who “Needs Help”
Someone who I desperately need to understand (because of this person's significance in my life), believes that because I lost Calvin so early in his life, my pain is easier compared to someone who Continue Reading »
For As Long As I Carried Him
Calvin at 13 weeks 2 days (January 29, 2009) 4 1/2 months ago, I went in for an ultrasound, excited to see my baby, to learn whether my first child would be a boy or girl, to call my son by name, to Continue Reading »
To the Father of My Missing Child
I know I can't make you whole again But I'm here. I'm here to catch your tears in the palms of my hand, to try to make the landing a little less rough when you fall, because I'm falling, too. So Continue Reading »