dandiewinks

Category Archives: Grief & Loss

Grief after grief

On March 23, 2012, Posted by , In Family,Grief & Loss,Life, By ,, , With No Comments

This is a photo of Mama Sue from when she was younger and lived in Japan. We buried her this afternoon. We released balloons, sang a Japanese children’s song that she taught us when we were younger, and had dancing at the reception in her honor. She was 77 years…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Showers—a guest post from Daddy

For Calvin’s 3rd heavenly birthday, I asked Louie if he would do a guest post on my blog to share some of our story from his perspective. I’m glad I asked, and I’m glad he agreed, because even now, I continue to learn what it’s like for him to walk…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The NT Scan

Dear Calvin, On Thursday, I had the NT scan with Bumble Bee. It was at the same place where I had my first ultrasounds with you, where I first saw and heard your heartbeat, where they told me they found amniotic bands during your NT ultrasound, and where the doctor…

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Always, You Matter

Dear Calvin, I had my first prenatal appointment with Bumble Bee on Wednesday. The nurse-midwife asked about my previous pregnancies, and when she heard me call you “he,” she asked what your name was. I told her, “Calvin,” as I cried. Then I thanked her for asking your name. She…

Three flowers

I attended a “Walk to Remember” remembrance walk and ceremony in Clearwater with some of my BabyCenter GBJ girls, their husbands, and their rainbow babies. Part of it included putting flowers on and around a memorial tree, planted in the park for babies who have died and their families. The…

Patterns I shouldn’t dwell on

It was a Sunday. The Sunday after Ash Wednesday. Louie and I were attending Mass at St. Basil’s Church. We wanted to light a candle by the Sacred Heart of Jesus. There were no more candles. Louie stopped one of the deacons and asked him to pray for us and…

S is for Stop (and sit with the grief)

Be strong. Don’t cry. You should be happy. He wouldn’t want to see you like this. Don’t let him see you like this. Don’t cry. He’s in a better place. You should be happy. You’re lucky. Just try again. Be strong. Keep busy. Just have another one. Don’t think about…

Happy almost 1st birthday, Rainbow