Calvin's birth Two years ago, at this time, I was at the hospital in labor with our first child. Louie and I were alone. We were scared. We knew our baby was dead. We knew our baby had birth defects. Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: You are remembered
Louie and I have never spent a night away from Calvin's ashes. When we visit family for a weekend, we bring his urn, his main stuffed animals, his memory box, and his journal. We carry all of these Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Where I found my Christmas spirit
Last year, for our first Christmas without our babies, Louie and I went away. We spend it in Las Vegas as an attempt to avoid the triggers and give ourselves some respite. We were still reeling from Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: His only belly pics
The only person who's ever seen these is Louie (he took them, too). These are my only belly pics from my pregnancy with Calvin, taken on January 19, 2009, just a few days before things started falling Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: From Daddy
Choosing to deliver you with mommy was the greatest honor of my life. Happy 20th in Heaven, Calvie. This month's The 5th Belongs to Calvin post is by Calvin and Rainbow's daddy. (I love the way you Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Calvin’s cloud drawings
In my last post, The artist and the writer, which was also my last The 5th Belongs to Calvin post, I shared two photos that my mother-in-law took of the clouds. What she saw was Calvin's name. Yes, Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The artist and the writer
Yesterday was the anniversary of Calvin's due date, and although my heart was heavy, there were no tears. This morning, though, they are just below the surface of a breath, barely touched by a blink, Continue Reading »
The 5th Belongs to Calvin: The sweetest names I ever sighed
This post has been a long-time-in-the-making, but I just kept pushing it back because I wanted more time to process the images and get them in good good shape/size for posting. This morning I woke up Continue Reading »
